The Beggar Kings Remember Us

The tavern is rowdy as ever. Drunkards, nobles, politicians and scum all mingling. Whispering. Trading secrets and coin and cons. Huddling together in conspiratorial groups, the comings and goings of Stragosa muffled by the songs of the bards in black, the Beggar Kings, regaling the lot of them with tales collected, dreamt, and conscripted. Music: the memory of the land.


This song is a good song
I see you grin, despite yourself.

For a moment they see me. See us.
For a moment none of it happened.
The fire is warm on my face
I feel the bench under me

I taste the lust
Dancing at the corners of my mouth

Our skin is hot, alive
Our hearts skip
across the veil between here
And there

In this single moment
I am home


I find you flickering here
You are almost
The color
Of living.

Living is
Sharp and grating–
Against the cool
The calm and the dreary
That is death but then
There’s you.

Infatuated with a song
That remembers us
And smiling
Like you were always wont to do.
Smiles are cheaper
And even in death
You are beautiful when infatuated.

Such as was
Always between us–
Sharp and stretched and scratched
Though sometimes tender–
No longer can I expect
The warmth
Of blood
Under the skin
We are nothing
And I reach out to touch you
As I had never had the chance

I like it here
With you
I long
For your eyes
To remember me
As they
Our names.


And the world is electric now
Beautiful fire from my fingertips to my teeth
Your eyes are so much more blue than they once were
I fall into them like the well of the sky

And then
I see a girl
Younger than most
In the corner of the tavern
And her eyes are mooney wide

I wave at her
And her lips part
In breathless

I see your eyes catch hers
Watch your expression shift
And shimmy
Like a cat
With too many fleas


I toss a wink like a coin
And gaping she gasps and blinks
And rubs the phantoms from her eyes–
We are gone.

And turning to smile this smile
Hard and bitter won
On you
I rise.
What freedom in Death, no?
Words are not words
And there is no breath here–
Nor gravity to hold me down
And my feet dangle
Above the table.

Stretching hands to you
Like olive branches–
How we fought in life
Like mutts over bitches in heat
But here–
I never got to dance with you.
Show me how you dance to our song.


And my grin goes walrus wide

I take your hand
In my hand
And my hand
In yours



We waltz the uppercut tango
And foxtrot through the fox’s den
I am you and you are mine
In this night sings
The Wet divine

This dance
Which is our first dance
It would have gone differently
Had we been constrained by meat

And Physics


Such things we are
The dead Undying
Tossed in stormy skies
And howling
It’s not
So bad
I can almost feel
Your hands
In on around tightly gripping

How easy to
Where the music swells us up on drifting winds
I wish
I wish
I wish we had–
Oh well.

I can now
Lay my head
On your shoulder
And breathe in
This gentle crook of your neck.


And as we drift
Sideways and upwards
In this place
That is Stragosa
And is the black and starry sea
I hear the chords fading
And applause beginning to thunder thump
From below

I barely notice the tavern drifting away
A half remembered dream
From a life I no longer live

I hold you tight
My lioness
And our skin forgets how to be skin
We become
What all lovers would be
If they were not told
They had to be two
Instead of one

My heart and
Your heart


And beat–
Like living drums beat
We two
Dancing out of realm of gods
And beggars and kings–


And beat
Like wings beat
Into the sky and into dark
we fall
Careening up


What a brilliant fall it is
Of whorling clouds and singing seas
And dreaming dreams

Are we alive?


Alive as the storm sweeping the city
Alive as the wind tugging playful at trees
Alive as raindrops wetting knees
Bent in the grass to recover some overlooked treasure–
Alive as deer tip-toeing through brush
Alive as
Unseen night

I look to my hand and it is your hand
I hear my laugh
And it is your laugh
And know that skin
No longer contains the idea
That is us

Trees and rivers pass beneath
Millers, blacksmiths, bards
Each taking their path through the night

And we look down
And feel
The slow and ancient
Of the world

This place is our place now
The dark seas of unmaking
Will have to wait

Death is a forgetting
And we
Will not be forgot.

My Own Blue Eyes

—-My Own Blue Eyes—-

And you
my own blue eyes
I know you can hear me
You can always hear me
Every thought
Every fear
Belonged to you
You never saw me
Only a mirror
Of everything you wish you could be

Is that why you
always hated me?
Almost as much
As you hated yourself?

I will never forgive you
Not after everything
You did
Everything you
Never did
And now
You walk a sunlit path
For the first time in a dozen years
You Wear your own face

While you look upon my death hole
I watch your lips and
I cannot not feel the tender words
Dance across my skin
But I taste your tears stain
my grave
Like You
They are
And vile

Poor you
Poor fucking you
You pitious wretch
So selfish
For yourself
You could never see how I was

The festering sun
Threatens to tear me from this world
A final time
And all you can see
Is what
Have lost

But I
see you now
Like you have never seen me

I am
watching you
protecting you
Saving you
By your side
In your every thought
And every fear
You have shown me your love
My Own Blue Eyes
And I will show you mine

My Good Friends

My Good Friends

I wait until morning
To see my good friends
I am so excited to see them again
Hear their warm smiles
see the melody of their laughter
They would see me
I would be real
They do not come

. . .

The smith is always smiling. He is happy to see me, happy to see everybody. He is my friend.
He has crafted a hundred magnificent daggers in a thousand beautiful shapes. Each a gift, each a seal of friendship. He would stand by me in arms and I knew my brother had my back.
But he is not here. He didn’t come.
Should I have let him burn?

. . .

The dawn breaks
An evil molten green
And spills like syrup
into the sickly sweet corners of the world

I want to stay
more than to breathe
But my shadow is too dark
And I cannot see the sun

Cobwebs and dust crowd out thought
And inch by horrible inch



G oNe

. . .

The Tailor’s needles and knives were almost as sharp as her smile. I loved her when she held a dagger to my throat. I loved her when she slipped bread from her parents caravan to feed her starving friend.
In those days there was nobody to tell us
That we couldn’t fly
So we did.

But when I finally let go, finally trusted her with everything I had-
She flew away.

Why do I keep trusting people when all they do is break your heart?

. . .

This world is a silent place
memories drift downward with the crisp smell of falling snow
How many of these were me?

My edges are slipshod and jagged
Unweaving and unwound
What I am just
melting in the thaw


I am not done here

You will not deny my story
I will not permit it

So last night
I went to see you

And I taste the mothflame light
I hear your faces in the evening glow
A rattlechain dance of beer steins toasting
Smilies and smiles and warm hearthen fires
And I cannot help but smile
As I am come back to you
And we will laugh and sing and be friends once again




You look through me
Around me
And past me
And my heart drops leaden frogs into my guts

See me
Just see me

Fucking Look!

I am real

Aren’t I?

But not one of you will claim the cold place at the table
Whether you know it or not
You do see me
But are too blind to look me in the eye.


. . .

The nights in the hall we shared
Were some of the best of my life
The alchemist cackled
High on her own medicine
While the gunsmith polished the beautiful brass
Of a new masterpiece

But of all of them
I trusted you the most
My brother in knives
You watched each of us when you thought we were not looking
As your hair grayed at the temple
With love
You are a better man than you know
And I am sorry you are so lost

But even you
Even you were gone when I needed you the most

She died
And I died
And we would be standing here still
If you had not abandoned us
To the alter of the vanity
And your failure

If you had been there with us
We would be here still

You will never find what you seek
You useless

. . .

I hear my song
It cuts through the dust
And makes me real

it is a good song
And the world goes from red to a soft waxy glow
I can disappear
Really, truly disappear
And for a moment, everything is finally right

Thank you


can last forever

And with the applause I awake from the dream
Of a world in which I’m still here

And fall hard and bloodied
In this too loud place
Where my mind begins it’s
And now the world
Is forgetting my face
And my name
And if I was ever real
To begin with

. . .

My Minstral
when she came
You said nothing
Did nothing
You just disappeared

And let her swallow my heart
And my life

Keep singing my song
I hope it lets you hide from your shame

It’s no wonder you will not meet my eye


. . .


My friends
How are you so happy?
Did you hate me that much?
To laugh and smile
And refuse to even see me

All While I cannot taste the rancid sun

I flee from this wicked joke
Back to the sky
Where the wind does not care
If I am alive
Or dead
Or never was at all.

What did I do wrong?
I tried so hard
I made so many friends

Didnt I?
I just thought…
Thats what you
You make friends
You take care of your
And your friends
They take care of you

I am not real
And only real people get to have friends

I’m sorry
I’m sorry I wasn’t enough

For you
For any of you
If I had tried harder
Done more to be seen
Maybe I would have been

I just…

Love Hate

So fucking m-

. . .

Oh dearest captain
I remember how you would jump
When I came silently from behind
And your tankard would fly
Spinning and spilling
casting ale to the winds
But we always smiled
And talked of distant shores
And distant dreams

You know

I never told you
But it was your hat that gave me the courage
To make my own

And yet you sailed away
Like all the rest

. . .


I deny you

This is not how I end
I will not fade
I will not be forgotten
I exist
I fucking exist

And you cannot steal that from me
Not anymore

My story isn’t done
I will not be denied!
My will shall be wrought upon the world
And all will know my name!

I am your good friend
I am savior of the poor
Diplomat and scoundrel
Wizard and buccaneer
Master and slave
Loved and feared

I am




I am her smile
Sharp and
Even now

She calls me
To become unmade
And join her in the silence
And the dirt

I begin to let go
And the mothflame flickers



And I am ready

She is waiting for me waiting
To set sail
Where we will dance forever
upon our nameless ship
Through a vast and a nameless sea

And I am ready
I am



Balthazar di Carrivaggo

I am the sky and
the lightning and
You will know name
From now until
The end of time

To The Sky!

Balthazar is here to unveil a gift to the good citizens of Stragosa!

This will be a spell that has been toiled over for many months. For the safety of our city and to prevent the great horrors of the night, Balthazar presents :


Starting this forum Balthazar, (being Me as well as I) will be casting and maintaining a sigil of protection in an well marked, easily accessible public location. This sigil, when activated, will allow the user as well as any companions gathered nearby to temporarily gain the power of flight. Any who would flee for their life and any who would travel through the beautiful clear skies rather than the great darkness that so threatens our land- they may find a bit of respite in the ability to soar above it.

This has been developed to allow for safer travel between different locations within the forum. Too long I have witnessed so many horrors, too long have good citizens died in the streets. This will be my contribution to mitigate such senseless waste of human life.

This will be a small gift, but if a single life is saved it will be worth the months of work. This is a humble gift, but in truth it is a promise of dedication to the city’s wellbeing and to many more wonders to help mankind fight back the night.

Thank you my friends, I look forward to your wonderous company once again.

Your humble and most excellent friend,
-Balthazar di Carrivaggo

Help Me build a tower to the sky!

Hey all! Your friendly neighborhood Balthazar is looking for labor to make a tower in the sky!

Now hiring for the fall season! (Next two DTs)

Willing to pay in coin, trade and favors.
(Respond here or in a private message and we can make it happen!)

Thank you good citizens of Stragosa!

-Balthazar di Carrivaggo