March 604 Forum News

Stragosa City Rulership
Reichgrafin Sir Hezke Heidrich
Seneschal Dame Kirsa Blackiron
Master of Coin Bakara
Eparch Father Velius

District Magistrates
Prince Armand Marseilles
Princess Loredonna diLaCorvo
Prince Korma Araga
Lord Reinhart Sonnenheim
Lord Emich Volksnand

March Forum Events
Friday Evening
10 PM, Mille Delize Founding
11 PM, Council Meeting (Invitation only)
1 AM, Dragomir Memorial

Saturday
9 AM, Scrivener’s Founding
10 AM Coffee Welcome Social
11 AM, Convocation
12 PM, Court (public)
12 PM, Public Market
Sunset, Tressertag Party

Sunday
9 AM, Warfare Council (please speak to the Lord Marshal to attend)

City Announcements
Sir Hezke Heidrich, Reichgrafin of Stragosa, reminds all citizens that the Miracle is to remain locked at all times, and any use of the Miracle must be approved by the Reichgrafin, Seneschal, Lord Marshal, or Eparch.

Common Law of the City
Murder, treason, rape, theft from the city or a member of the nobility, and large scale burglary are considered major crimes, to be arbitrated by the Reichgrafin and Seneschal or Lord Marshal.

Common Crimes such as petty theft, drunkness, and disputes among the common people will be arbitrated by the Constable. The full text of the laws will be posted for the public in the tavern.

The city is seeking capable persons to staff buildings for the good of Stragosa. Of particular need are those who are trained in both Performance and Farming for the preparation of perishable foodstuffs, as well as those who are capable of academic instruction or guard duties. Seek a District Magistrate to apply for a position.

The City of Stragosa is seeking capable workers for a variety of positions in service to the city. Citizens may serve the city as a guard, page, or church assistant during the forum, or providing skilled work. Additional city positions including census takers, accountants, and other positions may also be available. Additionally, the city will be conducting a drive for labor for the periods between the forums. Satisfactory service to the city will be repaid with citizenship, to include food and housing. Full details will be posted for public viewing at the tavern.

The Seneschal of Stragosa, Dame Kirsa Blackiron, will be available at a formal court hosted by Stragosa Mistress of Ceremonies Lady Alexandra Gale at noon in the tavern. Petitions to the city and other concerns may be raised by any person at this court.

A Tressertag gathering, hosted by Mistress of Ceremonies Lady Gale on behalf of the city of Stragosa, will be held beginning at sunset at the Tavern with sweets, games, and fellowship for all.

Public Announcements

The Metalli are seeking workers from apprentice to master including smiths, engineers, carpenters, and others. Lessons in related skills, including mining, are also available. The first 10 applicants will have their citizenship tax paid. Speak to Master Borso.

The Many Hands is available to help coordinate those whose time is available for labor with those who are seeking labor. Seek Sir Marius or Allegra.

The Mille Delize seeks performers or those wishing to learn. Seek Master Alonzo.

Meat for purchase, preserved and fresh game, 5 copper shields per cut. Bulk orders may be negotiated. Must provide your own storage. Contact Corbyn.

Master Bakara will hold classes in engineering every market. Times to be announced at each forum.

Master Evren Saquim Azzam is pleased to announce the availability of the Scriveners for the services of instruction, literacy, research, and consultation. Additionally, the Scriveners seek new members for their guild.

Lady Alexandra Gale offers her services in hosting and negotiation. Compensation negotiable.

Advice

Lady Alexandria Vosslyn will provide advice in the newsletter beginning this forum. Please write her for her well educated advice.

“Dear Alexandria,

I’m in love with a woman. But she might be too unruly. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Clearly N. Alias “

“Dear Clearly N. Alias,

Have you tried giving her definitely-not-drug-flowers? What about alcohol? Bitches love alcohol.

If all else fails, resort to the mating dance. It’s a ritual that has been performed time and time again for centuries. Sweep her off her feet, profess your love, show her your strength, and make her lady parts tingle with fiery passion.

If that fails… tressertag bracelet cuff the bitch.

Best of luck,

Alexandria”

“Dear Alexandria, with Tressertag coming up, I would really like for a man to bracelet me, even though there’s no one courting me and I can expect an arranged marriage anyway. I know that it’s silly for me to pursue romance since my father will be looking for a political match for me, but it just seems like it would be nice to experience, even a little. What should I do?”

“Dear some-clever-alias,

They won’t tressertag bracelet you?! that’s awful! I personally have never been braceleted myself, but if I were in your shoes, here is how I would make it happen.

Step 1: get a bracelet
Step 2: ask a guy to help you put on the bracelet because it is soooo difficult and you need help
Step 3: once they help you put the bracelet on, inform everyone in the room very loudly that that man or woman has tressertagged you. For instance, “OH MY GOODNESS LORD ARAGA THATS SOOOOO ROMANTIC! MARRY YOU FOR THE DAY?! ABSOLUTELY!”

Not only will this inform the room that you have been taken, but it will prevent him from getting out of the commitment. If he is startled like a opossum you’ve just found in your pantry, remember to remain calm and let him know there is no escape. He is yours now. If he says a mistake has been made, break down and cry on the spot. Let all eyes fall on him and let him choose embarrassment or a day of enjoyment. Besides, Let’s be real, most marriages now a days are arranged. Sometimes you just have to do the arranging. Do the woo’ing from there.

Also, since it’s the season of love, I figure I should give you some valuable insight: give a man an inch and he thinks he is a ruler.

Good luck!

—Alexandria

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