Choices

“Hold him down!” I almost yell at Vernon. Is he now a Father? I should ask what his title is since we never speak anymore.

Him and Mother Superior Solace do their best to console the Eparch but his trashing won’t stop. I put my weight on him so he can stop moving so much, this is the first time I’ve seen a patient fighting to die.

As I’m starting to prepare my stitching needle I can hear him saying how he’s proud of them, HIS people. I hear him say some more things but I drown them out, I need the utmost concentration on this procedure if I were to save him.

It’s not until I hear Mother Superior Solace say my name that I come back to the moment.

“Heimir…it’s okay…let him go.”

I look at Vernon, I know I must look confused and indignant. He nods and I see that the Eparch himself does not want to be saved. I reluctantly pull my hands now coated in blood away from him and hear him speaking to them both before he stops breathing. Both Vernon and Solace start crying and I can’t help but think how useless I feel at the moment. What was the point of bringing me here?

There’s so many people around, all just quietly staring at the scene. Blood is now dripping from my hands, the wetness making my hands feel like they’ve been frozen.
It’s so bitterly cold right now.

“He didn’t want me to…” I say and move away from the crowd, I don’t want to see or talk to anyone. Life is so important to some that they even beg to not die but this person willingly decided to not fight. How wasteful.

I say nothing to anyone as I get back into town. The blood is hard to get out, maybe it is because the water is so cold. It almost looks as if my hands were stained with his blood. The blood of someone that chose not to fight. What a waste.

Outside I see Ragnar talking with someone and I feel anger come to the surface. It had been him who had taken me to them, telling me to hurry and to run to save that man.

Before I can stop myself I start making my way towards him.

“Ragnar, next time you call me to save someone make sure it’s someone that actually wants to be saved.” I’m trying to not waver on my voice, it’s not normal for me to be rude but I can’t help the words that come out.

“I…they told me to get yo-”

I raise my hand to stop him from speaking, he stares at my blood stained hand as I do.

“I know you have your heart in the right place. But the Church doesn’t like people like me and there’s some of them that would rather die than let people like me save them. From now on if the Church needs someone saved they can come themselves. If not then I guess they die.”

I didn’t wait to hear anything back from Ragnar, there was no point in going back and forth. The rule had been created.

No wonder Dr. Tobias was the way he was…

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