“I don’t know who I am
Or who I used to be before
You broke me in a thousand pieces. ”
Lysenna strode through the misty colors of the woods. The faint sun had yet to burn its way through the silver clouds that shrouded the trees, from the lofty yet thinning tops of the canopy to the old and withered trunks.
Though her steps were measured, she did not bother to suppress the sound of her coming and did not try to follow the small game that hurried away from the rythmic sounds of her approach.
“Don’t you try and help me ’cause I know
I know
Only time can heal but it’s running out
Running out”
The faded leather bag slung against her hip had a few small items in it, but brushing the items hidden inside made her hands shake. Every time her fingers stirred the cold wood edge or creased edges of old paper, it reminded her more and more of events she wished desperately to forget… and those she didn’t know if she had the strength to recall.
*could she even recall*
“Tell me how to feel, to feel okay
‘Cause I don’t know
I’ve been feeling pretty low
Ever since the day you dug my heart’s grave”
A twig snapped under a careless foot as she stalked through the dense underbrush. The sound echoed and the lyrical notes of the forest suddenly became the shrieks and wails of the thicket. Chest tight, breath caught in her throat Lysenna stumbled, knees giving way to the soft ground underneath.
A rush of copper flooded her mouth as teeth came down to still the screams still trapped inside. She would not surrender to the fear. Never again.
She had promised herself.
She. Would. Not. Submit.
“My empty heart is bruised
Broke down my walls because of you
And though I’m six feet under
My anxiety is taking over”
Short and trim nails dug into calloused palms as she fought back the swelling tide of emotions. Her knees dug into the soft moss covered ground as the ferns reached for her bowed head. They were all okay. They were all alright.
*the ones she remembered*
Shaking her head, as much to clear the thoughts as the hair off her sweat chilled brow, Lysenna stood up.
“Don’t you try and help me ’cause I know
I know
Only time can heal but it ran out’
It didn’t matter. It couldn’t.
She had to go back.
They didn’t matter. They couldn’t.
She had to go back.
“Tell me how to feel, to feel okay
‘Cause I don’t know
I’ve been feeling pretty low
Ever since the day you dug my heart’s grave”