Category: Journal Entry

We arrived in Runeheim, and, unsurprisingly, were beset with a challenge before we could reach the township proper. Jacqueline found some respite in the fight, but its lack of an end left him on edge. Without Lorelei here I must admit I have let him run rampant. We both miss her, and nothing else but battle will temper him in her absence. Luckily, there came an end to his challenge. The branded woman, controlled by some Njordic thing called Alu came back. Unluckily, the other branded in town were also brought under Alu’s control, along with soldiers of Fafnir. We were able to stave off casualties, even amongst those under control, but it was a tough thing. The war front has led many to strike more than needed at time. With the supernatural mixing in with the humane I can’t say I’m surprised.

Besides this there was a disease of stone that moved through the populace. Unearthed from a fort which was broken open and revealed a crypt. I can’t help but feel as if this lingering despair is something that the members of House Randal felt as the plague swept over them. If I can, I will take it upon myself to take charge of the fort. It will relieve the strain on current leadership so they may focus elsewhere, and I am confident my people can lay this curse to rest.

Lady Vindicta Dragomir was poisoned at her own court. Do these nobles feel so secure they have no one check their food or drink? Especially when drinking with a Rennet. The play seems too bold to truly be done by Rennet’s hand. At least, not without someone else controlling it. What with the uncertainty at the time as to who would rule in this land, and now knowing Fafnir was compromised by a malefic. It all seems a mess.

Of all this I found solace in the woods. They are deep and ancient here. Not the clear cuts and new growth hastily tended to of Rogalia. If I could I would spend my days in them completely. To be without duty is a luxury I know I cannot afford, and so the woods become yet another among them. Here they have a ritual to stave off the cold bite of winter, so that the forest makes it through to the spring. The being that came upon us at the Grand Tree was cold, unsettling. I thank those that were with me for holding it off as I spoke the chant. I know Theopania suffered dearly for it. In the end we were successful, and something spoke to me with care. Perhaps the Grand Tree, perhaps my own pain addled and exhausted mind. If it was this, and not war and politics, how much more warmth would I have the luxury of bathing in?

Week 1
The cold has returned, creeping into everything. The wind bites. The stone walls seem to whisper, hollow with the sound of nothing. Winter in Runeheim feels less like a season and more like a judgment. The silence outside is the same as the one inside me.

I keep thinking about Santiago.
He hasn’t said it, not directly, but I see it in the way his hands linger on the edges of things—his pack, his coat, the ship manifest he pretends not to study. He’s leaving. Back to the sea. Back to wherever he calls home.

And I—I’m staying.

I could’ve asked him to stay. Gods, I could’ve told him the truth. That I needed him. That the thought of him leaving made it hard to breathe. But I didn’t. I smiled. I laughed. I acted. I’m good at pretending. I’ve always been. Hestralia taught me that—how to use charm like armor, how to turn pain into performance.

He never saw the desperation. Not once.
But I think about it now, in the stillness. How easy it would’ve been to lie, just a little. To say I needed help with the wards, that the bar couldn’t run without him. I could have invented any excuse. Why didn’t I?

Why wasn’t I selfish?

Week 2
The fire barely keeps the chill out. Santiago moves like a man already halfway gone. And I still say nothing.

Every moment feels fragile. Every word we speak is wrapped in pretend ease, but the goodbye is there, always humming beneath it. I clean obsessively, organize the same bottles and linens again and again just to stay moving. Just to stay sane.

I want to scream.

Instead, I smile and pour him his favorite drink. I tell him stories like I’m not breaking. And he thanks me, like I’m doing him a kindness, not carving out my own heart and handing it to him wrapped in honey and lies.

He still doesn’t know. And maybe that’s my fault.

Week 3
I caught myself reaching for his hand today. He didn’t notice. Or maybe he did and let it slide. We’re living in a soft denial—one we both know will end with the tide.

I hate him for leaving.

No. That’s not fair. I hate myself for letting him.

Tomasso mentioned the forum again—just once, in passing, like he knew better than to press. He said Runeheim changes with the thaw, that things bloom here when the snow pulls back.

Maybe. But right now, everything inside me is frozen.

Week 4
Santiago’s departure is close now. I watch him sleep and wonder if this is the last time I’ll see him like this. I memorize the slope of his nose, the rhythm of his breath, the way he murmurs my name in dreams. I want to wake him. I want to beg him to stay.

But I won’t.

When he wakes, I’ll smile and hand him tea. I’ll joke about the weather. I’ll watch him go like it’s just another errand. And then I’ll break, alone.

Week 5
He’s gone.

I stood on the dock, hands clenched inside my sleeves, head high. I watched him walk away and never once let him see me cry.

I should’ve stopped him. I could’ve.
I could’ve told him the truth. That he made this place bearable. That I didn’t care about the sea, or his home, or his promises. I only cared that he was here. With me.

But I didn’t. I acted.

I waited until he was gone before I let myself fall apart. Now the rooms are too quiet. The bed too cold. The silence in Runeheim no longer just surrounds me—it lives in me.

Week 6
I tried to lose myself in routine, but the wards won’t let me.

Three grown men—once Hestralia’s finest charms-for-hire—now under my roof and somehow more exhausting than they ever were in their prime. I took them in out of pity. Or guilt. Or loneliness. I honestly don’t remember anymore.

Dong Quixote still walks around half-clothed and dramatically quoting his old client poems like someone’s paying to hear them. He insists it’s “for morale,” but the only morale it affects is mine, and not in the direction he thinks. Damascus Steele, who used to have noblewomen eating out of his hand, now insists he’s become a master chef. He isn’t. If I hear the words “secret aphrodisiac blend” again while he’s dumping cinnamon into stew, I may bury him in the snow. And Cassius A’Nuevo—gods help me—he just broods in the corner like a sulking cat, chiming in only to criticize the others, or recite dramatic soliloquies from his stage days when he’s had too much mulled wine.

They are loud, stubborn, petty, infuriating… and I care for them.

I feed them. I keep them warm. I referee their absurd arguments about whose pillow is softer or who snored during whose shift. But they don’t know what it costs me. They don’t see how much I’m carrying, how every little act of care is done with trembling hands behind a practiced smile.

And still, they remind me that I’m not alone. That I’m needed. That I’m still here.

And they remind me I need coin. The forum is coming. I need to put food on the table, refill the stores, earn enough to keep us through what’s left of winter. I need to be seen again—not for Santiago, not even for the wards—but for me.

Week 7
I’ve begun preparing for the forum. Slowly. Carefully. The bar won’t run itself, and the wards certainly won’t do anything useful. Packing the bottles, checking the mixes, cleaning the linens—it helps. It gives my hands purpose when my heart still feels heavy.

I’m not ready.

But I can’t let the memory of Santiago be the only warmth I carry. I need something new. Someone new, maybe. Not to replace him—he was never mine to keep—but to remind me I can still feel.

Maybe there’s room for someone else in this space he left behind.

Maybe.

Week 8
The snow is thinner now. Meltwater runs in quiet little rivers through the stone alleys. People are talking about the thaw like it’s a miracle. I don’t feel it yet.

But I’m trying.

I have to believe that things can change. That I can.

I’m not expecting love. I’m not even expecting kindness. But maybe there’s someone out there who will make me feel a little less like I’m pretending all the time. Someone who won’t need a performance.

I’ve lived too long in silence. It’s time to speak, to laugh, to feel again.

Even if just a little.

Week 9
We’re nearly ready.

The booth is packed, the bar supplies arranged, and the wards are… marginally less useless than usual. I may actually survive this trip without throttling one of them.

I’m afraid. Not of the travel, not even of the forum, but of being seen again. What if I don’t know how to be charming anymore? What if my smile cracks too easily now?

I’ll wear it anyway. I always do.

But maybe this time, I’ll let the mask slip—just a little.

Maybe I’ll let someone see the woman behind it.

Maybe it’s time.

There had been so much chatter about malefic, about anacrusis, about faith, about this, about that…. It was nice just to have someone sit down with me at 1:00 am and say, “Tell me about your day…”

Well, it was an early start with Java preparing for her folkwise celebration. So I got up with her and made some coffee and a little breakfast. Then went to attend some guild tasks as requested, and back over to the folkwise to enjoy the remainder of the walk through the woods. It was lovely, you should consider joining the town in its seasonal celebrations.

Following this was a wonderful tea hosted by Lady Valarian. Have you tried any of the pastries they make? Such a treat. Tea went long so it was right back to guild tasks afterwards and a meeting with one of my mentors. There’s been a lot going on lately and it was nice to have a check in with them and get some advice.

Afternoons are always a nice time to relax and work on paperwork. I’m sure you have lots of that as well so I won’t bore you with the details. Late afternoon the town assembles for court with our local sovereign, Lady Dragomir, and we take the time to discuss business around town. Important topics, town finances, old business, new business, grievances, etc…I stepped into the position of court mage, which will act to be a point of contact for folks in town regarding arcane occurrences, and other issues of the sort. Should at least help keep town leadership updated on these things.

Then of course the day was starting to get late and lunch had been a looooong was off so it was time to get dinner together. It’s still a bit chilly this spring so I opted to get a large pot of beef and barley together, with some bread and little cheese for snacking. I had to chase down my guild mates to ensure they ate, you know how academic types can be always chasing after the next book. After dinner, Ragnar led a huge portion of the town out somewhere, I’m not sure where, but they seemed successful upon their return? You’ll have to ask him about it, I don’t really have any details on what occurred there right now.

Anyway, that brings us back to a bit earlier than now. There had been a bit of an arcane mishap that led to some anacrusis issues which is what we were just doing outside of the tavern now. Fortunately, all of that seems to have settled for now, so we’ll get back to resolving that in the morning. Potentially discuss it over coffee tomorrow with other guild members present to see their thoughts on the situation and hopefully move forward? Ahh, ahh anyway. What time is it?

Oh? Anyways that’s how my day went for the most part. Thanks for asking.

Rowan’s hands cupped my face, “Your not going to leave me to do this on my own, are you?”

The gesture was heartbreaking.

Grabbing her hands into mine, I couldn’t help but respond with the harsh truth, “I have done it alone long before you’ve arrived, if anything happens to me I fully believe in you.”

‐————————————

Java’s feet kicked in the creek as she thought back on that night, the water still touched by the chilly remnants of the winter. The sharp bite of cold felt good on her skin, a reminder of how strong she is even in the recent darkest of days.

How strong everyone has been becoming.

The turn of the season only bringing redemption and favor.

“So, Java. This one wyrd touched?” Ormhildr held up a fresh caught salmon for her to look over. He was a funny old man, always insisted she minded herself and care over Ura and Jorg as a priority. But recently shes felt compelled to visit her neglected ward.

Yes he could take care of himself, but as her eyes looked over the fish they drifted, now focusing only on his marred hand. His thumb and first finger all that was left.

“Looks fresh and healthy to me.” She gave him a nod, then looked back over the rippling water and nature that was blooming with the colors of Spring.

The fish was flopped into the basket between them and he recasted his line, “It’s not yer fault, y’know that.”

She always shy’d away from this subject. In truth it was her fault, she was the one who held the knife. She who was ordered to remove a finger for each time she had refused to cast for Marzana, three times to learn this lesson. Yet here he was always comforting her and calmly reassuring her like a grandfather would.

“There’s a Rogalian noble house at Runehiem. You should see the shade of purple they wear.”

“Royal color, eh?” He let out a low husky laugh, he was never bothered by the changes in subjects. They’ve had the conversation often but the wounds have long been healed and forgiven.

“They brought vampires with them…”

All Ormhildr ever wanted was a good story when she was around so for the next hour she gave him a dramatic re-telling of the vampire in the monestary, the mind controll, the battles. The entire time she spoke his eyes were closed and a small smile on his face as if he was watching the entire scene play out in his mind.

“They’re okay now” she had just finished the part of the story where she had acted against them during the battle against the vampires, “well maybe not Damian, but hey I’ve given the nobles an abundance of gifts as an apology. I think they thought I was going to give myself up to Marzana or something.”

The fishing line tensed but he wasn’t acting on it, “Why would they think that?”

Turning towards him, his gaze hard set on her, a worn look of pain, misery, and worry written all over him.

“Because she’s back.”

The two stared at eachother, reading the small expressions on eachothers face, a silent conversation being held between the two.

Marzana was back, with horns, the usual dying of constant hunger for power, and now as of recently an ultimatum for Java.

“So the Vulgaris are a group of rogue mages,” Java broke the silence again shying away from the risk of a truth she couldn’t yet face, not infront of him.

Ormhildr’s brows furrowed but released quickly, his demeanor returning to his usual self. A new line casted for the next fish.

“They messed a friend up pretty bad, so I returned the favor. Of course that led to an invitation and right as we were getting ready to deal out magic justice, they opened their mouth and I became a fool. A quick witted and charming Gothic, can you even believe that?”

The laughter that came from him, warmed her and settled the nerves that were acting up and only encouraged her share her stories with him.

Spring is a time for redemption and favor.

The agent of House Drake, Lord Gilbert Drake, stared at me in the tavern, blanketed in an aura so smug it was almost physical. Perhaps it was some sort of new fire magic the degenerates in Torchgutter had developed.
“Give me the unit of mages under your command, Sir Lorain,” the pompous second son of the likely related said.
”No.”
”I do not like being told no. It makes me angry,” he said.
”No one likes being told no Drake, but no. Fuck off.” I told him.
Sir Dipshit Drake then proceeded to unleash a flood of magic against me, and only my reflexes saved me. I felt the heat of the flames brush my skin, damn near leaving me sunburnt. I watched Java rise from her place at the table with a look of unadulterated rage on her face.
”No you don’t!” She shouted, forming arcane signs with her hands as Drake attempted to follow up his first attack.
Nothing. Apparently her efforts had cut him off. I went for my blade but the weasel proceeded to run while yelling insults and threats. I let him go so that I might return to my feast in progress and finish compiling the latest orders for aunt Tahliya.
”I’m gonna need your support when they inevitably come back causing trouble,” Java said.
”You have it,” I told her. “I won’t let the worm get away next time.”
The next morning I arose to hear my name shouted by a vaguely familiar voice. I was newly rousing and headed to do my morning business when I saw Hans, the mentor of the fire mages. Before I could reply to him, he unleashed a flurry of magic on me, dropping me to the ground. My bodyguard, Butch, the lovely man that he is, saw it was time to intervene, and struck Hans. Unfortunately, Hans had wrapped himself in vile fire magic, causing a retributive strike on Butch, dropping him as well. Hans turned to me, and stopped my bleeding.
”Give me those fire mages you refused to give Lord Drake,” he shouted. “This is guild business, not noble matters.
Little did Hans the obviously insane know, he had just made it noble matters by assaulting me.
“I would have been more than happy to hand them over had blanket demands by a rival faction of my homeland not vaguely demand them and then attack me. You knew these mages were in the forum and under my command. Communication is key, Hans.”
He threw another fucking fireball at me.
Thadeus pulled me off the floor, and had he been armed I would have insisted we strike the villain down then and there, after all, Butch had gotten quite close and triggered whatever contingency he had in place. Java and Sygrun saw to Butch, and we both rose. Dr. Heimr, the saint of a man he is, started seeing to my healing getting me back on my feet.
As I recollect these events to keep them clear in my mind and for posterity in case the mad dog seeks me out again, I prepare the letter I will be sending home. A noble agent of House Drake had struck me publicly. We may not be in Rogalia where the Pactum Domini reigns supreme, but damages would be claimed, or I would claim Gilbert’s life blood.
As for Hans Flamehand, mad dog of the fire guild, when a good animal goes rabid, you don’t keep it alive for the sake of the hard work it had done previously, you do the humane thing and you put it down. A fucking peasant struck me with his sorcery, and this would not stand. Let’s see how your magic stands against the laws of the emperor, Hansy boy.

It appears that this Alu isn’t the only problem in the area. It appears that my compatriot is plagued by an entity that appears to mean to do harm to the people around them, and also there seems to be a vampire roaming about. While I believe both of these to largely be distractions to the Throne’s main goals, they do seem to be serious threats.

The entity plaguing my compatriot seems to make them lose control of their abilities. This was kept under control by keeping them suppressed for most of market. But, as could be surmised, a wizard that needs to be constantly suppressed is not a particularly effective wizard. My concern is they seem to have a thirst for knowledge that is outside of their control at their current capabilities. It isn’t uncommon for our kind. Mages are notorious for not being able to control their urges for knowledge, but the smart ones are able to pull themselves back before their urges consume them. I hope that my compatriot can learn their limits.

The vampire apparently took over a Cyanahim monastery. Apparently the monks all became pawns of the vampire to help the vampire in some ritual. The unfortunate part is a number of mages and a knight of House Dragomir visited the monastery and similarly fell under the thrall of the vampire. Foolish lot. They fully knew there was a vampire in the monastery before stepping foot in it. Hopefully the affliction they were under passes.

There was some progress made with this Alu character. He was being burned by the Inquisition, but somehow he was able to turn into a ghost and escape final death in the purifying flames. He was also able to turn the town against each other seemingly by harnessing feelings of hatred. I did meet one of the Inquisition who works with House Drake. I must meet up with her and discuss if there is anything that can be done; if there has ever been something like this to have happened. For someone to be able to escape the Purifying Flames is chilling.

Lastly I was ordained as a priest under the order of Nuraniel during market. While I always thought I would some day enter the priesthood, I did not plan for it to be so soon. However, after seeing the state of the operation in Njordr, I felt I could be of more use not just as an agent of the guild, but also as a member of the church to help with the rampant problem of Malefic. While places of war are always going to have an excessive number of malefic, it appears that the meddling of heretics has increased this number. I am happy to help in any manner I can that the Guild can be more efficient, and the Throne can focus on their goal of winning Njordr. Also the only way to defeat the forces of darkness is with the light of God and Benulus, and the Church is only strengthened by an increase in it’s numbers.

After getting settled into Runeheim, I have found a surprising lack of progress in the theatre, even within the town proper. Between the rampant exploitation creating a population of people who have become actively hostile to the Throne and the explicit displays of heresy and the roaming of droves of heathens, it is hard to see what the Throne has done. It appears that the Church is trying to refocus their efforts on lowering the scum population. Hopefully these efforts are swift so that the Church might turn their attention to shining light in the dark recesses of Njordr.

The other wizards in the area are….interesting. The mages in the Earth Guild seem like an outwardly unfocused group. One seems very naive and one seems like magic is only tertiarily related to their interests. However, one of their number seems very focused on their guild’s goals, and therefore not forthcoming about some of the stranger goings on in the area. In particular there were some rumblings of Clan [redacted] being boxed in and dying of a mysterious disease. They claimed to know nothing about it, but there was something in their voice that made it appear they knew more than they were letting on. Anyway, it seems two of their number would like an amount of cooperation between the guild to take care of miscellaneous magical responsibilities in the area. I am willing to go along with it to the extent that it helps fulfill shared interest, but not to the extent of forming an alliance. Agreeing to ally with other magic guilds is tantamount to agreeing to be exploited.

I am troubled by the reputation of the fire guild in the area. Apparently the previous cohort of fire mages were a disaster to deal with. This has caused myself and my current compatriot to be looked upon with a greater amount of suspicion. This will make it harder to work in the area as we will have to do some work appeasing the populace to gain some good will, lest we be blocked from our duties by endless questions and gatekeeping. It is good that my coworker in this area seems to spend a good amount of time making a fool of themself entertaining people. I am, however, concerned that they are taking this cooperation with the Earth Guild too far.

One leader of the enemy of the Throne made himself known during this market. A character named “Alu”, a witch of one of the heretical gods, sent in droves of mind controlled soldiers and bird creatures. He even took over a number of the Branded in the area. Apparently this character has been known to the people of Runeheim before. Either a former Inquisitor, or someone who was masquerading as such. The fact that he was not put to an end when he first made himself known is concerning. But since he has made an appearance, hopefully he will be cut down swiftly.

The current state of the war is very concerning. Though through the power of God, and with the help of the Guild, I am sure that the Throne will eventually be successful in winning Njordr. Surely the heretics are getting desperate and they see their demise as imminent.

The snow here is strange. I read in my preparation books for this assignment that it snowed a lot in these lands. But it feels different. My sparring partner will have to go an extra hour so that my foot work can properly adjust. For soon my the work will begin.

A simple task walk into a den of what these lands call “soldiers” and do what is asked of me while the others work.
Though their skills maybe low there numbers where many. My allies and I had to close ranks in order to not be flanked but after that it was simple controlling our tempers for a victory.

Upon the path where shadows softly creep,

Beneath the cloak of night’s celestial glow,

With caution tread, where ancient secrets sleep,

To yonder monastery, dark and low.

The stars, like watchful eyes in heaven’s dome,

Illuminate the way with silver light,

Yet in the air, a chill begins to roam,

For whispers tell of creatures of the night.

The ancient stones, with ivy overgrown,

Stand silent, shrouded in a mystic air,

As if they guard a truth long left unknown,

A tale of blood and darkness lurking there.

With every step, the shadows seem to dance,

And in their depths, a sense of fateful chance.