A Letter to my Beloved Regarding my Sins

To my Beloved,

I have sinned this last forum. My Lady knows of my sin, and now you will as well.

It was in Forum, when the sun was rising. A siege was occurring from the forces of Jarl Overturner, cruel men with bile in their hearts and a wish to do harm to the good people. While war makes dogs the simplest of men, these men were wolves that were devouring all people, not just soldiers. They kidnapped emissaries, stabbed soldiers and even my friend Staccato D’Castille.

One of these men somehow got past my defenses and took a sprint towards my Lady. I saw through the blood in his eyes that he wanted nothing more than to hurt her, that nothing would stop him. Even after downed, they continued to rise up through pure malice and grit to strike again, and I would not let that happen! I took flight after him, my feet pounding against the ground to close the distance! I saw him clamber up onto the porch and I could not see Olivia, I could not see Sir Rowland. I did not know if my Lady, my best friend, was in danger!

Fear consumed me. It gripped me like death, and before I knew it my blade was slicing through the neck of this man, killing the soldier even while he was downed. I should not have doubted, Sir Rowland was, and is, a truly incredible knight. But I was afraid.

As the blood dripped down onto the ground, staining the porch that previously only held memories of merriment… I felt guilt. Guilt for cutting down a man who had a family, who could have had love.

I immediately sought atonement, but the guilt still clings to me like the winter rain here in Runeheim. While I know that by my Lady’s words I am not to kill, I know that if her life was on the line in that same way again….I do not know if I could act differently. I strive to be better, to offer mercy like Benalus, but when those who I truly love are on the line I find myself to struggle with the teachings of our Lord.

I will focus my attention on Saint Istra, whose proverbs resound with my inner turmoil: “The blade, God’s most sacred tool. With it, a mere man can control fate. The blade can end life and give it back. It can create and destroy, the fulcrum of time and destiny. Yet I knew not if the blade or action was truly mine. Is the blade an extension of me, or am I wielded by it? There is a mindlessness in practiced action. And in the aftermath of these times, I would gaze upon the work that my hands had wrought and wondered who had actually guided me.”

My atonement will be my forgiveness, and I do not expect Benalus or you to see me as the Knight I yearn to be until I complete my task.

Forever yours,
Lorelei

A Letter to be Discarded into a Fire Before it Reaches her Beloved

My sweet Beloved.

It has been weeks since my hand has held a quill rather than a pen, as we are all working earnestly towards the salvation of Runeheim. Since Felix’s explanation of the famine in Runeheim and the town’s consensus to prioritize our food stores it seems selfish to take time for you, even if it is what your heart truly wants. But I have snuck away and by the light of the moon I wanted to take this moment for just us.

There was a story I never told you. It was one of the earliest love stories I found in the libraries back in Port Valeria stuck between two of my required readings given to me by my tutor of the Spade. The Clever Lady and Servant – I would be remiss if I didn’t write it down. I told it to the people around the high fire, as I told the spirits were drawn to the fire, I will now recount it for you.

“Once upon a time there was a Lady, as most love stories have. She was born by a Count, and so was to be the single heiress of her Counties. And they were benevolent, kind to their people, and she was beloved by all. As a budding countess she was well-read and versed in the arts, and for every moon that passed so did her beauty grow. She loved riddles, word parlor games, and most of all laughing. If her heart had any weakness, it was humor.

It was this last virtue that made her fall in love with a simple farmboy just outside her Castle. Everything about him was plain. He was from a small family of no nobility, was not particularly handsome nor strong. Quite honestly he was not…remarkable. But he did not need to be. He had one ability, and it was to make the young Countess laugh. Sometimes love is funny that way, it is not a culmination of beauty, charm, or skill, it can just be moments of laughter between pressed lips, smiles across the field as one looks down from the balcony and one looks up from the dirt.

“But there was a third player between this obvious match, one that was ruled by greed. An Old Merchant, that had been passing through the county and upon meeting her knew of her value. Hungry for only the most valuable things in the land, he worked with the darkest of forces and meanest of men to start to break down the county and send it into chaos. Thievery, vandalism, and crookery, it took many years but eventually he twisted the metaphorical screw deep enough and forced the family of the Lady into a proposal. Her dowry could save the people of the county, how could she say no?

“At the announcement of their marriage the simple farmboy did the first courageous thing of his life- He made a proposition: If the farmboy could present three gifts more valuable than the dowry before the next day’s wedding then the Old Merchant would need to surrender the dowry and leave. He promised a gift of gold, a gift of silver, and a gift of pearls. But, if he was unable to find these items then he would forfeit his life in whatever way the Old Merchant wished. So the deal was struck, hands were shaken, and he went to find treasures worthy of his love. He would need to present one at dusk, at midnight, and one before dawn.

“Gold, gold, gold. He had less than four hours to find some! The farmboy had never had real gold in his life, and so he thought of the only gold thing he had ever seen. From the farm’s silos he gathered all the flax left from the last harvest and brought it together in a wheelbarrow. And the Lady, at the same time, decided to tip the wine cask and provide heavy libations at the party. The Old Merchant was quite drunk as the first gift was presented….And without his wits was overcome with greed. That much “gold?” A whole wheelbarrow full! It was much more valuable than his dowry! So with wine on his lips he conceited, the first gift was more valuable than the dowry!

“Silver, silver, silver. He only had till midnight to find some! The farmboy had never had real silver in his life, and so he thought of the only silver thing he had ever seen. He went to the local watering hole and filled four barrels to the top with fresh water. Taking them outside, the beautiful moon peeked down at them, a reflection of silver across the surface. As he loaded them up in his cart the Lady, at the same time, poured the last of the wine, serving the Old Merchant every last drop before dragging him towards the balcony to ‘see his prize.’ The Old Merchant was still quite drunk as the second gift was presented….And without his wits was overcome with greed. That much ‘silver?’ Three barrels full! It was much more valuable than his dowry! So with wine deep in his belly he conceited, the second gift was more valuable than the dowry!”

“Pearls, Pearls, Pearls…He only had till dawn to find some! The farmboy had never seen a real pearl in his life, and he thought of the only pearl he had ever seen. He did not go fetch anything, but simply waited at the castle, watching the festivities as night slowly changed to dawn. So when the drunken Old Merchant stepped forward to demand his last gift, the farmboy did the only true skill he had: He made the Lady laugh. And as she did her shining teeth lit up the room, so did the farmboy’s smile also grew! The Old Merchant was as drunk as one could be as the third gift was presented….And without his wits was overcome with greed. That many “pearls?” Two oysters full! It was much more valuable than his dowry!

And so they went off, the drunk Old Merchant bested by the two. And the Lady and the farmboy were to be wed.”

And that was the ending I told at the fire. It is how I wish it to end.

But that is not the true ending that was given. As, it was not by accident that the story was given to me. As I turned the last page I realized that the story was a lesson: Because the Old Merchant was not going to leave without his gifts. The ‘Gold’ sacks was put into his carriage, the ‘Silver’ barrels sealed and brought as well. But his pearls were still to be his, no? And so with the help of the darkest of forces and meanest of men he made sure to take each and every ‘pearl’ from their lips. Because, in a Spade’s training one must remember: Love is never without pain. And it is not enough to be clever, to be funny, or to be in love. It is only through cruelty and power: The one with the darkest of forces, and the meanest of men, will always prevail.

The next day my training was to practice removing teeth from cadavers, and once I pulled them out of the bodies I was sent away to train with the shield with Uncle Otto. It was then I knew who wrote that story. It was from his journal. That day I realized that the rosary around his wrist were not pearls, as I had once believed.

…Upon reflection, this letter is not for you my sweet. It is a farewell to this story. Maybe it is best that the true ending is not shared. It will be closed and put away, for another Spade to read.

Forever yours,
Lorelei

The First Letter to her Beloved as she started her Journey to Runeheim

To my Darling,

It has only been one day, and I am already heartsick. I miss the heat of your hand on mine and the sound of our horses’ hooves as they synchronize as we ride across the fields outside the manor.

But duty does call.

My loyalty to House Delacroix will soon change with my name when I am wed, but until then the banner of House Jokeri is still one I follow. As soon as I received word from Olivia I knew I must pick up my shield one more time to protect House Valerian. She is heading to the North, and so will I. I am already far behind my Brother and the Lady herself.

I do not want to blame anyone…But it appears my letter somehow got lost in the manor. As if someone was trying to keep the call of my Lady away from me. And as much as I do adore the wedding that I have been so faithfully planning, it is delayed until the march to the North has ended.

As soon as the mission North is complete I am to return home once more, to wear a ring rather than a shield upon my right hand. My blessed sword, of course, will be at my side. But it will take much polishing to keep its steel sharp, as I will not be using it in battle any longer. My duty will change from protection, to creation of a new family line. It is not for love I will marry, as you know.

I am the start of a new line of succession. As I have said many times, It is a good match, the Jokeri Family to the Delacroix. Both of our families are young and hungry for power. And what the Jokeri Family has in discipline the Delacroix family has in opulence. With my feet firmly planted in Capacionne I can assist both the Diamonds with their trade, and secure strong partnerships for future members of our family. The Suite of Clubs will also love to have a summer villa to send the oldest members of our family, as a celebration of their servitude.

I, of course, will lose my status as the Heart: No one without the Jokeri name can hold it. Our Grandfather had punished my Brother swiftly for his failure in that burning house. My punishment is not one of pain: Trained in the Spade I had learned to survive immediate pain. My punishment shall be slow.

They are cutting slivers off me with every new letter: First to give my brother the gruesome role I failed so miserably, then to take away my honor to House Valarian. And, the final blow, tying me into a marriage that is not for my love, but for the growth of House Jokeri.

You have been taking good care of Juliet, thank you. I will be able to make it to the place called Runeheim swiftly. And, when I return, I think I will give her to you.

So one of us may stay in your arms forever.

Forever yours,
Lorelei

Caterina Explains her Departure from Runeheim

“It’s not that I am going back to where I came from. It’s terrible there. But I cannot stay here. Almost dying is a clear sign that something’s got to change. And this is the closest I’ve been to the cold touch of death’s hand.

“I do not know exactly what happened in the woods. I think it was that…Boy. The clansman who called himself Ragnor. Or whatever, he was touched by magic, missing an eye! The people in the town were protected by him, but by relying on his protection they coddled his need for blood. Many times I was told it was fine that he would lash out against his companions if he didn’t satisfy his need for blood.

“As soon as he started turning that blade on the wood of my shield I knew it was time for me to leave. But I resisted: The coin was good, and the people of Runeheim are great. And I might have stayed here longer if not for those ghostly women.

“Or Malefic. Whatever. The ancestors of the people here, they came for blood and rage. They punished the town for one boy giving up his vows, for not doing what he promised.

“And foolishly I offered to help, because I was thinking too much of the people of Runeheim! How stupid I was. The blue spirits were unrelenting in the woods, herding us deeper and deeper, until they brought us to the center where we were to be slaughtered like pigs. I felt the cold ghastly breath of the creature as it raised up the sword for a killing blow.

“If not for Grin, I would be dead. I do not remember much, I was bleeding and the night was dark. But she pulled me out of there. I do not know how that night ended, nor if the spirits were calmed. But it was enough. I heard their warning.

“And that is why I am gone. Already our coin-purse had moved on, and it was time for me to go as well. It was night when I packed up my things and what-do-you-know it, Grin was doing the same thing! She didn’t need her words to tell me that the party agreed. We were gone.

“We’ll take a detour, find a home for the two twi- I mean cousins, in our hands. They deserve to be somewhere safe, to find a place to put down their roots and grow a family. But me and Grin do not belong here. Death will find us if they stay. Maybe the land to the North is not ready for those from the South to join it, and this was their sign.

“…Do I regret not saying goodbye? Yeah. I do. The people of Runeheim are the best lot I’ve ever seen. Reminded me of the pub, before Father let it out of his hands and debtors swooped it away. Just goes to show that home can be found. You just have to look for it.

And you need to live in order to find it. So I wouldn’t call myself a coward. I am making sure I live long enough to find a home.”

A Letter to her Beloved on the Journey to the Markgraf House

Hello my Beloved,

Vissivind is beautiful. The houses are not as lovely as your hometown (Soon to be ours) but the parties are divine! But it was not for the parties that I traveled down South. I wanted to rally support for the almshouse.

The Almshouse! For those destitute and those that cannot pick up a sword to fight in battle, for those kicked from their farms in the latest raid. The church pleaded for support and while I cannot take a small hungry charge on my own, the guilt haunted me for weeks until I decided to find support in the way that I could. I cannot gather supplies, but I can gather funds!

With nothing but my name and my charming wit I traveled to the great Markgraf House in the Cold Throne of Njordr to attempt to rally support for the Alm house. In the weeks it would take to gather money from the Knight of Diamond, I could parry from those in Njordr. Thankfully my Lady allowed me to depart from her side to try and support the will of the Church. To help those less fortunate.

I hosted a great party! Well, no. Not the food, or the ever filling wine glasses, but instead the entertainment for a week long gala! We played so many games those weeks at the House of Markgraf and we even had a promise of funds being sent to the church from their houses! I must have done well…But of course I am. I am of the House of Hearts, we can entertain a room.

We had contests of stories late at night, we shared poetry, and I even heard the youngest of the Markgraf’s play their silly little instruments! They adored me, mostly because I doted on them that day. I knew that, to find favor with their parents, one must be the center of their children’s attention. But after a day or two…I found it less of an act and could not stop entertaining the children whenever they found me. The children were so full of joy and I spent much time with the children on my lap and bouncing them during late night conversations.

I know it is my duty to birth an heir. Only for a small amount of time will they be in my hands in Cappacionne before they are sent to be raised in my childhood home in Valeria. Where they will be guided into another suit of cards…perhaps one of the Club or the Diamond perhaps. And I wish them success in their endeavor! If I am to keep them in my home they will not rise to their namesake. But as I spent days in Vissivind I realized how different our houses can be.

The Markgraf House is nothing like the Jokeri house. The rooms were full and the children …Well they reminded me of Jaqueline and me before we were pitted against each other – Before he was sent to academy. They played so many games and none of them were told to steal trinkets from their companions, like I was when I was their age. None of them were performing to be given a higher status in their parent’s eyes, they were performing for simply the applause of the adults in the room.

Not that I am not grateful to the Jokeri Family! But between us…It was lovely to see the cousins so unguarded. When I tucked them in after a long game of hide and seek, the one that was found first was not forced to sleep under the bed like I was when I was young.

I am getting distracted, perhaps it was the four glasses of port. I am grateful to my GrandFather, but I will never forgive my parents for birthing me into this family and being so willing to pass me to another suit. And I expect my children to never forgive me for the same sin.

Thank goodness none will see these thoughts. If I die, I wish for you to burn this notebook with me after you devour these words. You may take the ash and do what you wish with it, but please allow my secrets to burn with me.

With all my heart,

Lorelei

I had to add more! I was just in bed when the bells started to read with news: King Maynor of Einsland has died! It was sudden and now there is scheming to be had! Who will be leaning in for the crown? I only have a few words to spare, as the ink is too valuable tonight.

I will be staying up till dawn writing letters to secure alliances. I do not know who yet my Lady wishes to put her banner behind, but banding support for allegiance to her choice is what I must do. While the guilt of my sins had originally brought me to Vissivind, perhaps it was God’s hand leading me to where I must be in order to put forth his divine will.

Njordr will now be the center of all gossip of Gothic, and the Knight of Hearts is in the center of it! How grand!

A Letter to her Beloved on the Musing of Love in the North – Game 17

Hello beloved,

Forgive the length of time between our correspondence, and the length of this letter, as I know this one will be long. I am in one of those thinking moods, one where I ponder an idea until the candle burns from tip to base. It is an old habit of mine, from the days where the Spade was on my shield. Night is the time for plotting, for deep thoughts until the sun rises again.

Love is different in the North. Not wrong…I do want to be clear. Love from one’s heart cannot be wrong if it comes with good intentions, much like if one prefers a strawberry tart over a chocolate truffle. How one loves is as vast as the muse for that courtship: It is as unique as the fingerprints of the two hands that hold it. But I want to recount some thoughts of love that I have seen in this past weeks.

First is the love of Helga of Crowza. I enjoyed our chat: She was wise and wore her wisdom as wonderfully as one might done with Capacione’s most fashionable hat – Anyone could see it was of high caliber. I would have spoken many many more hours about her history, but the inquisition interrupted us (Do not get me STARTED on them). She recounted to me how she had not just one love of her life, but several. One of her husbands, she told me, was a coward who ran away from a battle. And, obviously she told me, if one runs from battle it could not be true love.

That idea clung to me like mud on boots as I grabbed by sword and prepared for battle: When one loves it is an act of trust to another. You love what you have seen of them, both their ideas, their wisdom, their beauty, or their truth. When that love is shattered…Was your love wrong?

Or perhaps was the person you loved purely an illusion cobbled with lies that even they did not realize? Did you love the mask the person donned with words and actions and when they dropped the disguise who was at fault? The deceiver, or the one who fell into a trap?

The next day I went back to her (As heroines do in fairytales) and she told me of another husband who died in battle. And while she carried that love to this day through her children and her history, she found another to spend her days with. That love must have been true as well: While a Knight such as myself will only have one great and honest love (as my target of love is as honed as the blade I wield) it cannot be wrong to love many. Not if each love you have is as pure and real and compassionate as mine is for you.

Now, hear me now. If you were to die I would dash myself into the nearest battle and die with you in my thoughts as I removed as many foes as possible for my Brother…But I do not wish that for all. That is not the way their heart is crafted. There are many tales of love in the bookshelves in House Delacroix: And not all of them are like mine nor Helga of Crowza.

I am no poet, you can find many more fluent in the art of essay and poetry in Capacione. But hear me now: I do think there is nothing stronger than Love: Love is what is the foundation of all. Take this last large battle against the corrupt Inquisition: The love of the people of Runeheim is what protect their homestead. Love for my Lady is what holds my shield high when the axes of the enemies crash down upon it. Love is what binds my brother and I across boundless roads and will get us through the turmoil that is starting to brew underneath the floorboards under our positions (That I will not share with you darling, you do not need to know nor do I wish to burden you with more secrets).

I am babbling, you know how I get when I start to think too deeply about this sheer force of power that binds and connects people. And while I did list all those examples of Love…Recognize that you, my Beloved, are my muse and my strength. You will be my only until I die.

And I pray that, when I do return to Capacione, I see you first. If news from the estate is true and my family’s plans are accelerating, I will prove that devotion to you in the only way possible. I am not Helga of Crowza: I am Lorelei, the Knight of Hearts of House Jokeri. You will always be my greatest Love, and I refuse to have another.

Second Letter to by Darling, of The Prince of Gems

To my Darling,

While the battle was not as dire at this forum, morale was low after battle. Spring has barely touched the frozen forests of the Njordr, and even while I took part in yelling at trees to wake them, my mornings are still spent huddled under a cloak.

But you were on my mind, as often you are, when I remembered a story I read while at House Delacroix. It was tucked away between two tomes of great history: a small novella that told the tale of the Prince of the Gems. I told it to my comrades, but I do not believe I have shared it with you.

Please, allow me to correct that atrocious mistake!

A long long time ago, in the realm before the Witch Kings and presumably when malefic were more bountiful: There lived a Prince. He was coined the Prince of Gems because that was all he wished for. He would tax his people to find them across the land, he would send all laborers deep into the Earth, and he would slay any who dared to touch his growing horde.

But, eventually, his cruelty rose higher than his people could tolerate. Using great spells and knowledge they created a trap that would twist the Prince’s form into a beautiful blue diamond. The people then, insidiously, set it in a crown and presented it to him as a gift.

And once he put the crown on he was devoured by the stone, trapped inside it. And once he was caught the people of the town had a great parade all the way to the dock, where they then took a ship and cast him into the ocean. And the story goes that he is still down there, in the permanent darkness of the ocean in purgatory where he is with his own true love: Greed.

It is a story to trick nobility into kindness and to give to others, even if they have rights to the gold of their people.

NOW I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THE STORY ENDS THERE. How could it? A love of greed is not love enough!

And, so much like I did to the book in the library, I added an Epilogue to the tale for my comrades, to cheer them up! Love can fix any curse, and it can save this Prince from their purgatory. I amended the story with a caveat that, if the Prince found love in anything other than greed, that he would be transformed back into his human form.

So while he suffered for his crimes for many decades at the bottom of the ocean, one day a creature of the deep oceans stumbled upon the crown. She was beautiful, with eyes that sparkled like pearls and hair that even in the deepest dark shone like silver. It took only a moment for him to stare upon her until he fell in love.

And so when he turned back into his human form he was able to spend the rest of his life with her, drowning under the sea with his true love. He truly did love her until the day he died.

A romantic ending to such a tale!!! I told this to my comrade Silvester and while he was not a romantic like you or I and missed the simple beauty of unearthly love, he did seem to fare a little better after the tale, and, even better, it inspired my Lady to sing a sonnet of love!

So we together shared two songs of Romance to the people of House Valerian.

Alas, my candle grows weak this evening and I do not have another to spare: While we did just fortify ourselves in a more permanent residence of Fort Hrafnikastli, there is much to still do before I can waste two candles in one evening.

But, know this. I miss the sunrises in Capacionne. The moment at dawn when the sun would hit the hills, when the soft light purple would touch the dew covered flowers? I knew that Berceau de Artère was a wealthy land, but I thought it was in the gold of the pockets. I would pay any amount to be there again: riding our horses through what appeared to be fields of gem and precious stones. I remember that moment fondly when we first slipped from the castle away from prying eyes. It is because it is the moment I fell in love.

And I hope that if I am to die on this battlefield, my last moments are filled with thoughts of that moment, when the sun hit your face and I knew bliss had found me.

With all my heart,

Lorelei

First Letter to by Darling, of Lucian Greenfield’s Love

To my Darling,

I know it has been several weeks since we last departed, but I still feel the heat of your palm in my hand as we said our goodbyes. I was told that time dulls all pain, but still I feel the ache in my heart at not seeing your smile as the sun rises on our morning rides together.

Please allow me a moment to distract myself from my own heavy heart and write of other love that I have found between the clashing of swords as I fight for my Lady. While you will not get my letters till I return and read them to you myself, I do not want to forget what I have witnessed here. Even in the North, where the ice is the heaviest and winters the most frigid, love blossoms under the lack of light!

The first tale I weave is one that I have heard of my companion Lucian Greenfield. He is a quiet fellow in my company, though after pestering him with questions I hear of his true love Angela! And while their love is one of courtship and devotion, even producing a child named Peter as a symbol of their affection, it was…Well…I am to be bold, if I am going to write of it I will need to add a stroke of poetic liberty. I wanted to transform the tale of their meeting to be equivalent to that of the power I felt in his words and the love beating in his heart!

~ They met when their carriage was attacked by BANDITS. Two individuals connected by not a strand of fate, but by the will to survive! Individually traveling in a merchant’s carriage, not even names shared between them before the first bolt of an arrow of fire was launched at them! The door was lit aflame and the two of them jumped into action. It was at the edge of a cliff, the horses threatening to pull the carriage off the cliff sides if not for the quick wit of Angela (The aforementioned soon-to-be-lover) who opened the opposite door of the carriage and leaned out of it, stopping it from caterwauling off the side!!!!!! But the bandits were just as cunning as they were vile. They had in their sights the ransom payments for such a beautiful woman in her prime with a large dowry, who knows how much she would fetch?!

But Lucian would not allow it! He leapt forward and atop the carriage fought off not one, not two, but THREE bandits with nothing but his love and fists (Obviously he should have used his weapons, there was no time to draw them)! And after he threw them all off the sides, narrowly catching the hand of his beloved (THE FIRST TIME THEY HELD HANDS) before she fell beneath the thunderous spinning wheels of the carriage. And as they looked into each other’s eyes, truly their Souls, for the first time…The Bandits sent a final poisoned arrow flying from their cursed bow and POISONED HIM.

How could death try and steal him, when he had just met his beloved? But perhaps all in the fate of Love. Though she was entranced by his willingness to fight for her, when not a Knight himself, it was their conversation while she nursed him back to help that knitted their lives together in a beautiful tapestry. And who would not be seduced by the passion of the moment followed by caring for another, cleaning the bleeding and festered wound? Because what is one kind of love if not a bond kindled by battle but then softly fed by tender moments of conversation, a smile. A shared joke while pushing through a moment of pain. ~

I miss you, my Beloved. While a story like this one does bring a smile to my face, I truly miss yours.

With all my love and soul,

Lorelei